Harmonious connections build a nurturing home, where balance and strength thrive together.
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Peace
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The Family
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Peace11
Harmony and prosperity arise when opposites attract and balance is maintained. Positive energies are in alignment, and collaborative efforts lead to growth and advancement. Embrace peace and cooperation for continued success.
↓ Line 2
Patience and tolerance towards those who are less refined will ultimately lead to positive results.
↓ Line 5
Generosity and alliances through relationships bring great blessings and success.
↓ Line 6
Overextending or forcing issues leads to setbacks. Focus on internal matters and avoid aggressive actions.
↓ The Family37
Focus on nurturing harmony in your community or family. Cultivate stability and mutual support by fostering open communication and shared values.
Other titles: Peace, The Symbol of Successfulness, Prospering, Pervading, Greatness, Tranquility, Prosperity, Conjunction, Major Synthesis, Hieros Gamos, Holy Marriage, "Yang supporting yin and going to meet each other. Good prospects for a marriage or partnership." -- D.F. Hook
Judgment
Legge: Harmony shows the inferior departed and the great arrived. There will be good fortune with progress and success.
Wilhelm/Baynes:Peace. The small departs, the great approaches. Good fortune. Success.
Blofeld: Peace. The mean decline; the great and good approach -- good fortune and success! [In the following hexagram (Divorcement), where the trigrams symbolize heaven and earth in what would appear to be their normal positions, that arrangement is held to be disastrous; whereas here, where they seem to be upside down, everything is propitious. This may be because heaven above earth is held to imply that the two are existing separately without the intercourse which is the root of all growth; whereas here their intercourse is so absolute that heaven is actually supporting earth.]
Liu: Peace. The small is departing, the great is arriving. Good fortune. Success.
Ritsema/Karcher: Pervading . The small going, the great coming. significance Growing. [This hexagram describes your situation in terms of prospering and expanding. It emphasizes that continually spreading this prosperity through communicating is the adequate way to handle it...]
Shaughnessy: Greatness: the little go and the great come; auspicious; receipt.
Cleary (1): The small goes, the great comes. This is auspicious and developmental.
Cleary (2):Tranquility … Getting through auspiciously.
Wu:Prosperity shows that the small stays outside and the great stays inside. It will be auspicious and pervasive.
The Image
Legge: The intercourse of heaven and earth -- the image of Harmony.The wise ruler models his laws upon the principles of heaven and earth, and enforces them for the people's benefit.
Wilhelm/Baynes: Heaven and earth unite: the image of Peace. Thus the ruler divides and completes the course of heaven and earth; he furthers and regulates the gifts of heaven and earth, and so aids the people.
Blofeld: This hexagram symbolizes heaven and earth in communion. [The component trigrams illustrate the kind of close intercourse just alluded to. This is surely the only way of depicting it under the circumstances, for any mingling of their component lines would produce quite different trigrams having no reference to heaven and earth.] It is as though a mighty ruler, by careful regulation of affairs, has brought to fruition the way of heaven and earth. In harmony with the sequence of their motions, he gives help to people on every hand.
Liu: Heaven and earth are unified, symbolizing Peace. The ruler reforms and completes the way of heaven and earth; He observes the appropriate methods of heaven and earth to direct the people.
Ritsema/Karcher: Heaven and Earth mingling. Pervading. The crown-prince uses property to accomplish Heaven and Earth's tao. The crown-prince uses bracing to mutualize Heaven and Earth's propriety. The crown-prince uses the left to right the commoners.
Cleary (1): When heaven and earth commune, there is tranquility. Thus does the ruler administer the way of heaven and earth and assist the proper balance of heaven and earth, thereby helping the people.
Cleary (2): … So as to influence the people.
Wu:Prosperity results from the interaction of heaven and earth. The king uses the wealth of the nation to achieve the ways of heaven and earth and to support their designs, so as to bring the sentiments of the people to the center.
COMMENTARY
Confucius/Legge: Harmony shows the union of heaven and earth, and all things consequently united -- high and low, superior and inferior are all in accord. The lower trigram is made up of dynamic lines, and the upper of magnetic lines: strength is within, devotion is without; the superior man is inside and increasing, the inferior man is outside and decreasing.
Legge: The Judgment refers to the structure of the hexagram, with the three dynamic lines below, and the three magnetic lines above. The former are "the great," active and vigorous; the latter are "the inferior," passive and yielding. In many editions of theI Chingbeneath the hexagram of Harmonythere appears hexagram number fifty-four,Propriety, which becomes Harmonyif the third and fourth lines exchange places. A situation in which the motive forces are represented by three dynamic, and the opposing by three magnetic lines, must be progressive and successful.Harmonyis called the hexagram of the first month of the natural spring, when for six months the forces of growth are in ascendance.
Canon McClatchie translates: "The Image means that heaven and earth have now conjugal intercourse with each other, and the upper and lower classes unite together."
Ch'eng-tzu says on the Image that a ruler should frame his laws to operate like the seasons, so that the people exist within the structure of a natural rather than an arbitrary order.
NOTES AND PARAPHRASES
Judgment: Harmony depicts the waning of egotistical illusions and the waxing of true potential.
The Superior Man allows his inner virtue to rule the psyche.
Without changing lines, Harmony suggests a fruitful union of opposites and consequent state of balance in the matter at hand.
Wilhelm translates the opening phrase of the Confucian commentary as: "Heaven and earth unite." Blofeld renders it: "The celestial and terrestrial forces have intercourse and all things are in communion with one another." Legge has already called attention to McClatchie's version of: "Heaven and earth have now conjugal intercourse with each other."
This image is one of the most universal symbols produced by the human psyche: the sexual union of Spirit and Matter (heaven and earth). This is the hieros gamos or holy marriage of alchemy, the union of Shiva and Shakti in Hinduism, the conjoined male and female deities in tantric Buddhism, the syzygies of Gnosticism and the union of heaven and earth in the Kabbalah.
The notions of the couple and the sacred marriage held a very important place in ancient Chinese religious thinking. Every sacred power was twofold, male and female; but since only one half of the sacred couple was generally enclosed in any one sanctuary, the ritual was directed at reconstituting the whole... The complete being is male and female; since most men neglect or repress their feminine nature, they are out of balance; their male aggressiveness comes to the fore, and their whole vitality suffers. There can be no true Holiness without a prior revitalization of femininity. M. Kaltenmark --Lao Tzu and Taoism
Psychologically, the condition pictured by this hexagram is a metaphor for a high state of integration within the psyche. Here it is described in alchemical and Jungian terminology:
The hermetic vessel is oneself. In it the many pieces of psychic stuff scattered throughout one's world must be collected and fused into one, so making a new creation. In it must occur the union of the opposites called by the alchemists the coniunctio or marriage... (This union), in psychological terms corresponds to man with his feminine soul, the anima, or to a woman with her masculine counterpart, the animus -- the union in each case constituting the inner marriage, the hieros gamos by which the individual must become whole. M.E. Harding --Psychic Energy
To receive this hexagram does not necessarily mean that one has attained such a high integration, but it might indicate a step in that direction. The ultimate hieros gamos only occurs after all of the scattered and mismatched forces within the psyche have been brought together in correct alignment -- in I Ching terms, when all of the lines are in their proper places with proper correlates as imaged in hexagram number 63, Completion. Until this final union there are innumerable "lesser" conjunctions which must first take place -- a fact recognized in tantric yoga:
The final goal of the tantricist is to reunite the two contrary principles -- Shiva and Shakti -- in his own body. When Shakti, who sleeps, in the shape of a serpent, at the base of his body, is awoken by certain yogic techniques, she moves through a medial channel by way of the chakras up to the top of the skull, where Shiva dwells, and unites with him. The union of the divine pair within his own body transforms the yogin into a kind of "androgyne." But it must be stressed that "androgynization" is only one aspect of a total process, that of the reunion of the opposites. Actually, Tantric literature speaks of a great number of "opposing pairs" that have to be reunited. Mircea Eliade -- Myths, Rites, Symbols
The establishment of the " Kingdom of Heaven on Earth" is yet another metaphor for this process of psychic unification. Here is the Kabbalistic version:
It is by the establishment of the celestial on the terrestrial, or of heaven upon earth, that the house of the King (humanity) will become united and the King will rejoice thereat, for then the two kingdoms will become one and then the new and living way will become opened to those who make themselves susceptible and receptive of the Higher and Diviner life... When these two worlds become united and blended together they are symbolized by the union of the male and female, the one being the complement of the other. The Zohar
SUGGESTIONS FOR MEDITATION
Legge points out that many editions of the I Chingassociate hexagram number fifty-four,Propriety, with this figure. What do the changing third and fourth lines ofPropriety imply about the role of the ego in the Work? The traditional name forPropriety is "The Marrying Maiden" -- how does that relate to the concept of the holy marriage in Harmony? Compare the Judgments and Images of the two hexagrams and the role of the superior man in each. Note also the lesson implied when lines two and five in Harmony unite to make hexagram number sixty-three, Completion.
Line 2
Legge: The second line, dynamic, shows one who can bear with the uncultivated, will cross the river without a boat, does not forget the distant, and has no selfish friendships. Thus does he prove himself acting in accordance with the due mean.
Wilhelm/Baynes: Bearing with the uncultured in gentleness, fording the river with resolution, not neglecting what is distant, not regarding one's companions: thus one may manage to walk in the middle.
Blofeld: Supporting the uncultivated, crossing the river without boats, not retreating despite the distance from his base, not abandoning his comrades, he still manages to steer a middle course.
Liu: Bear with the undeveloped. Swim across the river decisively, not forgetting what is remote, nor disregarding one's friends. Thus one can gain the middle way.
Ritsema/Karcher: Enwrapping wasteland. Availing-of crossing the channel. Not putting-off abandoning. Partnering extinguished. Acquiring honor, tending-towards centering moving.
Shaughnessy: Wrapped recklessness; herewith ford the river; not distantly leaving it behind and not forgetting it, gains elevation in the central ranks.
Cleary (1): Accepting the uncultivated, actively crossing rivers, not missing the remote, partisanship disappears, and one accords with balanced action.
Cleary (2): … Employing those who can cross rivers, not overlooking the remote, free from partisanship, one can seriously perform balanced action.
Wu: This is like the sky enveloping all corners of the earth. Walking along a riverbank, one will not lose the direction even going far. He will show no favoritism toward friends. He will maintain a course of centrality.
COMMENTARY
Confucius/Legge: His intelligence is bright and his capacity is great. Wilhelm/Baynes: Because the light is great. Blofeld: A middle course can be steered because the situation is so brilliantly clear. Ritsema/Karcher: Using the shining great indeed. Cleary (2): Due to greatness of illumination. Wu: Indicate an ability to attain enlightenment.
Legge: The second line is dynamic, but in a magnetic place. This tempers his action and describes his first characteristic of forbearance. Because the place is central and has a proper correlate above in the fifth place, all the favorable images are manifested.
NOTES AND PARAPHRASES
Siu: The man observes the mean during times of peace. He is magnanimous toward the uncultivated, ready for necessary risks, watchful over future possibilities, and independent of cliques and factions.
Wing: During Prospering times it is important to hold to worthy attitudes and behavior in order to achieve your aim. You now have a responsibility to undertake difficult tasks, to be tolerant of all people, and to maintain far-reaching visions. Avoid getting involved in current factions and special-interest groups.
Editor: Wilhelm/Baynes translate "no selfish friendships" as: "not regarding one's companions." The idea is that correct behavior takes precedence over popular opinion. Thoreau's famous line: "If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer," is an analogous idea. The discipline of the Work immediately places one in this category. A complete understanding of this line depends upon what is said in line five, which see.
From my point of view, he can be called a remarkable man who stands out from those around him by the resourcefulness of his mind, and who knows how to be restrained in the manifestations which proceed from his nature, at the same time conducting himself justly and tolerantly towards the weaknesses of others. Gurdjieff
A. Turmoil is a fact of life. Unaffected by conventional norms, one bucks the current of ignorance and focuses on the goals of the Work. Cope competently.
Line 5
Legge: The fifth line, magnetic, reminds us of king Ti-yi's rule about the marriage of his younger sister. By such a course there is happiness and there will be great good fortune.
Wilhelm/Baynes: The sovereign I gives his daughter in marriage. This brings blessing and supreme good fortune.
Blofeld: By giving his daughter in marriage, the Emperor attained felicity and extreme good fortune.
Liu: The Emperor I gives his daughter in marriage. This will bring blessings and great good fortune.
Ritsema/Karcher: The supreme burgeoning, converting maidenhood. Using satisfaction, Spring significant.
Shaughnessy: Di Yi marries off the maiden by age; prime auspiciousness.
Cleary (1): The emperor marries off his younger sister, whereby there is good fortune; this is very auspicious.
Wu: Di Yi married off his younger sister. The marriage was blessed with great happiness.
COMMENTARY
Confucius/Legge: She employs the virtues proper to her central position to carry her wishes into effect. Wilhelm/Baynes: Because he is central in carrying out what he desires. Blofeld: This was because of his impartiality in carrying out what he felt to be desirable. [This suggests a need for impartiality in conducting our affairs.] Ritsema/Karcher: Center uses moving desire indeed. Cleary (2): The balanced carrying out of deliberate, purposeful undertakings. Wu: It was done with a wish from a central position.
Legge: According to Ch'eng-tzu, Ti-yi was the first to enact a law that daughters of the royal house, in marrying princes of the states, should be in subjection to them, as if they were not superior to them in rank. Here line five, while occupying the place of dignity and authority in the hexagram, is yet a magnetic line in the place of a dynamic one. She accordingly humbly condescends to her dynamic and proper correlate in line two.
NOTES AND PARAPHRASES
Siu: The example of King I's decree that his younger sister must obey her outranked husband is presented. The modest union of the high and the low brings real satisfaction.
Wing: You can achieve your aim and realize great good fortune by remaining impartial in your behavior. Humility and modesty will allow you to communicate with the sentiments of your followers in mind. You will then be supported in your endeavors.
Editor: The rulership of the hexagram is shared jointly by the second and fifth lines. In the situation symbolized here, the magnetic fifth line yields her authority to the dynamic second line -- each is out of its "correct" place, and so they swap positions, so to speak. The meaning is that yin willingly defers to yang, female yields to male, emotions to intellect, feelings to principle, etc. It is significant to note that in a hexagram depicting a holy marriage, the perfect union of Heaven and Earth, that the only line mentioning marriage is this one. The marriage is between lines two and five, and when they both change the hexagram created is number 63, After Completion, the "perfect" or reference hexagram determining all correct relationships. Lines two and five are the only lines in the figure that are "out of place," and each takes its meaning from the other, which implies that they exchange places to create a perfect configuration. Implicit in all this is the idea of yin (emotion) being correct when it is alchemically conjoined with yang (reason). Emotion and intellect must blend into intuition. The ego can't "make" this happen, but it can help create the conditions which make it possible.
When the understanding of truth which is with the man makes one with the affection of good which is with the woman, there is a conjunction of the two minds into one. This conjunction is the spiritual marriage from which conjugal love descends; for when the two minds are so conjoined that they become one mind, there is love between them. Swedenborg -- Arcana Coelestia
A. Defer feelings to reason or principle.
B. Ego defers to the will of the Self.
C. A fundamental rule of the Work is to concede one's initiative to a higher principle.
Line 6
Legge: The sixth line, magnetic, shows us the city wall returned to the moat. It is not the time to use the army. The subject of the line may announce her orders to the people of her own city; but however firm and correct she may be, she will have cause for regret.
Wilhelm/Baynes: The wall falls back into the moat. Use no army now. Make your commands known within your own town. Perseverance brings humiliation.
Blofeld: The wall has tumbled into the moat; do not put up a fight, but just maintain order in the village. Although this is the right course blame cannot be avoided. [We shall be blamed for not being more aggressive even though circumstances more than warrant our failure to be so.]
Liu: The wall collapses into the moat. Do not use force. Make announcements to the people in your own town. Continuing brings humiliation.
Ritsema/Karcher: The bulwark returned tending-towards the moat. No availing of legions. Originating-from the capital, notifying fate. Trial: abashment.
Shaughnessy: The city wall falls into the moat; do not use troops; from the city announce the mandate; determination is stressful.
Cleary (1): The castle walls crumble back into dry moats. Don’t use the army. Giving orders in one’s own domain, even if right, there will be regret.
Cleary (2): … Announcing order in one’s own locality is shameful, in spite of correctness.
Wu: The moat around the city wall has dried. No military action is advisable. The local authority has given conflicting orders to the townspeople. The people should be persevering, but even so they may still feel humiliated.
COMMENTARY
Confucius/Legge: The governmental orders have long been in disorder. Wilhelm/Baynes: His plans fall into confusion. Blofeld: This signifies a troubled destiny. Ritsema/Karcher: One's fate disarrayed indeed. Cleary (2): Order is in disarray. Wu: The orders have been contradictory.
Legge: The course denoted by Harmony has been run, and will be followed by one of a different and unhappy character. The earth dug from the moat had been built up to form a projecting wall, but it is now again fallen into the ditch. War will only aggravate the evil, and however the ruler may address good proclamations to the people of the capital, the coming evil cannot be altogether averted.
NOTES AND PARAPHRASES
Siu: The government has long been in disarray. Despite all proclamations to the contrary, ill fortune is at hand. War will only aggravate the situation. The subject should submit to fate, keep inwardly free, and ameliorate the harm done to those nearest him. The bad time will pass.
Wing: A decline has begun. It is of the external world, and nothing can be done to hold it back. Such attempts will bring you humiliation. Instead, devote your time to strengthening your ties with those close to you.
Editor: A walled city is a concentration of similar elements in one place. Within its walls dwell all of the factors which go to make up whatever it is that the city represents-- perhaps an attitude or belief. For example: suppose I believe that the world is flat. All of the thoughts, feelings, attitudes and emotions which contribute to this belief live in "the city." If I have an experience which strongly challenges my belief--say, a photograph taken of the earth from outer space which definitely proves that my belief in a flat earth is incorrect--then one could say that the "walls of my city have collapsed." Now I could fight this and say that obviously the outer space photograph is a fake--I could try to maintain my belief regardless of all the evidence to the contrary. However, the realistic response to the situation would not be to "use the army" (defend the indefensible), but to just let the dust settle--inform the people in the city (the now outmoded thoughts and feelings) that the situation has changed and that the best response is to sit tight and see what emerges from the rubble.
A community's conviction system is its castle, a walled city to protect it against alternative interpretations of the great and unknown reality in the midst of which it must somehow live. B. Bruteau --The Psychic Grid
A. A distinction is dissolved, a belief is shattered. Don't fight it -- let it be. Change is in process and confusion prevails -- control your emotions and maintain order within the psyche. Despite turmoil, take no action -- allow the transformation to complete itself.
Other titles: Family Life, Clan, Home, Linkage, Dwelling People, The Psyche, "May indicate a situation where the family can and should help." -- D.F. Hook
Judgment
Legge: For the regulation of The Family, what is most advantageous is that the wife be firm and correct.
Wilhelm/Baynes: The Family . The perseverance of the woman furthers.
Ritsema/Karcher: Dwelling People. Harvesting: woman Trial. [This hexagram describes your situation in terms of living and working with others in a common space. It emphasizes that caring for your relation with those who share this space and for the space itself is the adequate way to handle it. To be in accord with the time, you are told to: dwell with people!]
Shaughnessy: Family members: Beneficial for the maiden to determine.
Cleary (1): For people in the home it is beneficial that the woman be chaste. [In the human body, the vitality, spirit, soul, psyche, and intent all belong to yin and all take orders from the human mentality … When you refine away the human mind, the mind of tao spontaneously becomes manifest.]
Wu:The Family indicates that it is advantageous for a woman to be persevering. [This is a hexagram with its emphasis on women. Both constituent trigrams are feminine … Hence those who endeavor to be firm and correct will have advantages.]
The Image
Legge: Wind rising out of fire -- the image of The Family. The superior man speaks the truth and is consistent in his behavior.
Wilhelm/Baynes: Wind comes forth from fire: The image of The Family. Thus the superior man has substance in his words and duration in his way of life.
Blofeld: This hexagram symbolizes wind rising from fire. The Superior Man's speech is full of substance and he behaves with constancy.
Liu: The wind coming out of the fire symbolizes The Family. The speech of the superior man should have substance, and his conduct be enduring.
Ritsema/Karcher: Wind originating-from fire issuing-forth. Dwelling People. A chun tzu uses words to possess beings and-also movement to possess perseverance.
Cleary (1): Wind emerges from fire, members of a family. Thus is there factuality in the speech of superior people, consistency in their deeds.
Cleary (2): … Developed people are factual in speech, consistent in action.
Wu: Wind comes forth from fire; this is The Family. Thus the jun zi speaks with facts and acts with perseverance.
COMMENTARY
Confucius/Legge: In Family the wife is in her correct place in the lower trigram, and the husband in his correct place in the upper. That spouses occupy their correct positions shows the correct relationship between heaven and earth. The parents rule the family: let the father indeed be father, and the son son; let the elder brother be indeed elder brother, and the younger brother younger; let the husband indeed be husband, and the wife wife -- then the family will be in its correct state. Bring the family to that state, and all under heaven will be established.
Legge: The written Chinese character for Family simply means "a household," or "the members of a family." The lesson of the hexagram is the regulation of the family, effected by the cooperation of the husband and wife in their several spheres, and only needing it to become universal to secure the good order of the kingdom. The important place accorded to the wife is seen in the short sentence in the Judgment -- that she be firm and correct, and do her part well is essential for the family's proper regulation.
The wife is represented by line two and the husband is her proper correlate in line five. The relationship between heaven and earth is analogous to the relationship between husband and wife.
The second sentence of the Confucian commentary, more closely rendered, would be: "That in the family there is an authoritative ruler is a way of naming father and mother." This means that the assertion of authority in a family should be a correct balance of force and gentleness.
Anthony: The Family symbolizes correct relationships between people – the family unit, the spiritual family (the Sage and the student), and human groups generally. When these most basic relationships are correct, the world is made correct through the force of inner truth, through cultivation of the feminine component of our nature, and through persevering in a virtually menial position (from our ego’s viewpoint) so that our work can come to fruition. All this means to forgo striving and self-assertion, and to allow ourself to be led, while persevering in gentleness and devotion to our path.
NOTES AND PARAPHRASES
Judgment: For the correct regulation of the psyche, what is most important is that the ego must be firm and correct.
The Superior Man lives his allegiance to the ideals of the Work.
Applying the Hermetic Axiom: "as above, so below," the relationships within a family are analogous to the relationships within a city-state, or a kingdom, and vice- versa:
Society centuries before the time of Confucius had been organized on the basis of family. In the early days of the Chou dynasty fiefs had been allotted to the feudal lords in a system of planned colonization. These feudal lords, linked to one another and to the royal house by marriage ties, took their families, retainers, peasants, artisans and soldiers to form self-sufficient colonies based on an agricultural economy and governed from well-fortified walled cities. These large family groupings of the nobility were preserved only so long as the relationships of parents to children, brothers to brothers, and masters to servants were effectively controlled. D.H. Smith -- Confucius
If the ideal city is like a family, then the analogy also holds for an individual -- here the comparison goes directly from city to psyche:
Have we any greater evil for a city than what splits it and makes it many instead of one? Or a greater good than what binds it together and makes it one? ... Then is that city best governed which is most like a single human being? Plato -- The Republic
Psychologically interpreted, the hexagram of The Family symbolizes the psyche, and the Confucian commentary tells us that when its inner components all assume their proper roles and functions, then the Work will come into fruition. ("All under heaven will be established.") The identical idea has been stated in Gnostic thought:
Jesus said to them: "When you make eyes in the place of an eye, and a hand in the place of a hand, and a foot in the place of a foot, and an image in the place of an image, then shall you enter the Kingdom. The Gnostic Gospel According to Thomas
The husband is the analogue of heaven or the Self, and the wife is the analogue of earth or the ego. When the ego assumes its correct role as the magnetic servant of the Work, then inner transformations can take place. I have paraphrased the Judgment in terms of the necessity of the ego to follow the dictates of the Work, but one could alternately phrase it in terms of keeping emotional responses under control. For the wife to be "firm and correct" is to ensure that emotions, drives and appetites are not allowed to make decisions -- they are servants, not masters. This is the essence of the Work, and arguably the most reiterated idea in theI Ching.
The patient should be encouraged to use his mind, through observation and discrimination, to bring clearly into his awareness the irrational aspect of his drives and emotions, and also the possible drawbacks and harmfulness to himself and others of their uncontrolled manifestation … To act on the spur of an impulse, a drive or an intense emotion can very often produce undesirable effects which one afterwards regrets … Therefore, he should learn – by repeated experiment and effort – to “insert” between impulse and action a stage of reflection, of mental consideration of a situation, and of critical analysis of his impulse, trying to realize its origin, its source. R. Assagioli – Psychosynthesis
The thirty-seventh hexagram teaches us that the way to manage the emotions is no different than the proper management of aFamily. No wise parent can teach a child self-discipline by adopting the child's point of view: permissiveness, either with our children or our own primitive drives and passions, is a sure formula for disintegration. The Work demands that the ego hold the line on this issue -- indeed, it is the ego's only legitimate function.
We are dominated by everything with which our [ego] becomes identified. We can dominate and control everything from which we disidentify ourselves. R. Assagioli -- Psychosynthesis